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Monday, February 2, 2009

Fast Forward: 2019: Scientists Now Say Global Warming Fears Fading Away - Claim Warming Consensus Never Existed

The New York Times

February 2, 2019 (Spoof)

By Andrew Revko - New York Times Environmental Reporter

As the Earth continues to cool, UN scientists now concede that CO2 was never the climate driver many made it out to be. The entire multi-trillion dollar global warming movement now appears to have been a result of massive funding, media hype and group think.

The UN IPCC claims it never really promoted man-made climate fears and instead urged media outlets to cover its new environmental claim, the scarcity of oxygen on Earth. The UN issued a warning last week declaring it was “immoral” to question the new consensus that the Earth was fast running out of oxygen. “As citizens of the world prepare to take their last gasps of air, they have no one to blame for our continued inaction but the well-funded oxygen denial industry,” said UN chief Al Gone. [Note: There are actually people warning about the "oxygen crisis" in 2008.]

Researcher Naomi Oresko, echoed Gore, declaring that her analysis of 55,000 studies proved that all scientists agree the Earth is running out of oxygen.

Andrew Dresslear of Gripe Magazine noted that there were only two dozen scientists who are not part of the new consensus regarding he “oxygen crisis.”

Many scientists now deny ever being worried about CO2 emissions.

Gavin Schmite maintains he and his colleagues at Wishful Climate never promoted man-made global warming fears. “This is simply the deniers inventing history,” Schmite said.

“First the deniers claimed that some scientists hyped a coming ice age in the 1970’s and now they are claiming we hyped warming in the latter part of 20th century and the first decade of the 21th century. What the world needs to understand is Wishfull Climate has never and can never be wrong because all weather and climate are perfectly consistent with all of our models. There has never been a climatic event that was not predicted by our models,” a red-faced Schmite insisted.

Schmite however did concede that climate models have appeared to be incorrect on many occasions.

“If a climate event or trend occurred that did not mesh with our models, we simply made some ‘adjustments’ after the fact to ensure the models’ reliability,” Schmite said.

Schmite made his remarks while he was taking remedial science courses following the advice that prominent atmospheric scientist Dr. Hendrik Tennekes gave to Real Climate’s Gavin Schmidt in 2009. Tennekes is a scientific pioneer in the development of numerical weather prediction and former director of research at The Netherlands’ Royal National Meteorological Institute. ) See: 2009 post: Prominent Scientist ‘Appalled’ By Gavin Schmidt’s ‘lack of knowledge’ – ‘Back to graduate school, Gavin!’ )

Stanford University’s Stephen Schnooder said he knew warming fears were wrong the whole time. “I predicted global cooling in the 1970’s,” Schnooder recalled. “

Whether we face warming or cooling, the key point is we must have a consensus that crushes any dissent and we must have scientists as political advocates,” Schnooder added.

The lone holdout still promoting global warming doom appears to be NASA scientist James Hansoon who insists that his temperature database shows radical warming still continuing unabated.

“I know all other temperature databases-both land-based and satellite show cooling, but they do not account for my patented special adjustment program that can turn cooling into warming,” Hansoon explained.

Hansoon expanded his call for “crimes against humanity” trials for Gone, Oresko and Schmite for joining the deniers.

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This is a good sign folks. I’ve always said we’ll know we are winning when comedy writers start to use AGW for material… Cheers, JoNova

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